SAR #7361

"The modern banking system manufactures money out of nothing;
the most astounding piece of sleight of hand ever invented."
- Sir Josiah Stamp, Bank of England

Rewrite: Trisha Mueller, researcher at CDC, reports that sex education classes inschool greatly boosts the likelihood that teens will delay having intercourse. Also, males who received sex education in school were 71 percent less likely to have sex before age 15 and were 2.77 times more likely to rely upon birth control. Trisha is going to need a new job, call CDC Atlanta with your offers. You do not have to notify the White House, they'll know.

Play It, Sam: Greenspan, Bernake, the investment bankers and financial elite now blame the credit/mortgage mess on 'unpredictable events'. Unpredictable! Much like Captain Renault was "shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on here."

Noted: British scientists have discovered ‘grandparent’ helpers in warbler families. As in humans, older adults help their children to raise the grandchildren. This is the first time that grandparenting has actually been found to be for the birds.

Clarification: The International Energy Agency says there will be a large gap between oil production and demand as we go forward. The IEA feels (a) oil producers must increase production while (b) consumers cut consumption. But (a) is not possible and (b) will not happen until (c) an economic realization event occurs. An "economic realization event." Is that a recession, or just long lines for gasoline?

Re-Run: Russia has agreed to sell S-300 anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. The S-300 could inflict "significant damage" to US (or Israeli) aircraft if they were to attack Iran. Also Russia has successfully tested a new MIRV weapon. These developments are "likely to irritate the United States." You bet'ca Red Rider.

Plagiarism: Nigeria issued arrest warrants for three Pfizer staffers who are to appear in court in on charges the US drug company has been conducting illegal clinical trials on unwitting Nigerian citizens. Oddly, John Le Carrȇ has already published his history of this event.