You cannot lie your way to the truth.
Against All Odds: Thursday the Dow ended up 552 points. Why? Christmas looks terrible for retailers, manufacturing is in the tank, unemployment data was worse again, the Treasury needs to borrow a couple of trillion and the market goes up 6.5%. Why? In the final hour. Again. Why?
Fast Track: The new budget year started October 1st and the government is already $237 billion in the red. At that rate the year's deficit will be $2.8 trillion. Sounds about right.
Bailouts Are Our Most Important Product: Back before General Electric became GE, it used to make stuff, mostly electrical stuff. Now half of GE's earnings come from its financial businesses. Enough so that it qualifies for FDIC guarantees on its debt issues. GE debt is now insured by the US taxpayer, and none of that wishy-washy $250,000 limit either.
Asia Defeats Global Warming! A cloud of pollution over a mile thick hovers over Asia, darkening the sky, reflecting sunlight - and solar heating with it - back into space. If they stop polluting, global warming will accelerate.
Misnomer: The unfortunately named General Growth Properties, the #2 US mall operator, says a lack of sales and a lack of credit make bankruptcy a likely outcome of the Christmas season. Ho, Ho, Ho.
Over Here, Over There... S&P reports that Europe will be seeking $2.1 trillion in debt refinancing at the same time the US will be trying to finance $2 or $3 trillion in new debt. We'll have a Debt-u-taunts ball.
Old Wine in Old Bottles: Obama's economic brian trust is mostly old, mostly white, mostly male, mostly lawyers - mostly with recognizable names and reputations. This group is going to change what?
Assigning Blame: Paulson blames Asian countries and oil producing nations for the economic debacle, citing their "lack of consumption and accumulation of resources." Damned Puritans, wearing clogs and saving money.
Foreign Travel: Turns out AIG has a new travel plan for the US Taxpayer. You get to stay home and AIG sends your money, a gift from Paulson and Company, to Japanese and European banks. Of course Goldman Sachs acted as travel agent.
Headline Only: 7-Eleven Store Receives Over 100 Applicants for Position That Pays $8.50 Per Hour.
It Wasn't Just the Leaves: This fall house sales joined the leaves in falling. There was a 19% drop in house sales from September to October. Of course just as foliage colors vary by region, so too house sales: Down 22% in FL, 32% in CA, and a stunning 51% in Michigan, where the colors were quite nice this year.
Christmas Sails: Best Buy says that it expects a 15% decline in Christmas sales, Macy's too. The good ship Profit has sailed. A black bulk cargo ship called Bankruptcy has been spotted on the horizon.
Where Did You Go and What Did You Do? That's what Bloomberg wants to know, on behalf of the taxpayers who paid for the trip. "Out" and "Nothing" say Ben and Hank. They even look guilty.
Piling On: The Dallas Cowboys need to borrow $350 million by Thanksgiving. It's to refinance $126 million it borrowed last year and a bunch more to cover cost overruns on the new $1.2 billion stadium. Make that $1.425 billion.