SAR #11126

Swearing to a lie does not improve it, or you.

New Facts: You would have thought the CIA/Pentagon/White House would have decided on the story line before they executed bin Laden. Sigh.

Kitchen Sink: The sky is falling... sell oil, sell gold, dump silver... and you should have sold your house yesterday, maybe the day before – according to Gary Shilling, who sees another 20% drop in prices. Others agree.

Recount: Unemployment claims were up 10% this week, reaching 474,000 – a number not seen in several months. Excuses abound, but fail to explain away the steady upward trend in the unemployment data. The consensus estimate was for 400,000 – an 18.5% miss. Pass me the lipstick and hold that pig steady.

Qualifications: Not able to let go, the birther contingent now claims that Obama's parents were not legally married, and thus he was illegitimate. I thought being a bastard was an asset in not a requirement in the Oval Office.

Teaching Point: If the politicians in Congress do not raise the debt ceiling, the politicians in the Treasury Department will stop issuing the special securities that help state and local governments pay their debts. It's called the trickle down effect and I bet the governors and mayors will let their local congresscritters know all about it.

Gecko Question: Is the market rigged? Usual prize, words of one syllable, no expletives.

Sticks & Stones: President Obama has ruled that letting the public see photos of the dead Osama Bin Laden would threaten US National Security. Note that National Security is capitalized and should be spoken in a hushed, reverential manner. Note, too, that we continue to be treated like children.

Without Comment: Next Wednesday at the White House, the Obamas will celebrate poetry’s influence on American culture. Suggestions, please, for a brief but appropriate ceremony.

Rules: Famously wonkish economist Paul Krugman, muttering something about unemployed goats, is now unfairly insisting that freshwater economists support their attacks on Keynesian economics with some data. Don't know where they'd get any, they certainly never let data get anywhere near their theology.

Sufficiency: In the debate over financial regulation, here's all you need know: Goldman Sachs is lobbying hard to weaken the Volcker rule.

The Butler Did It: Sued for failing to maintain foreclosed properties and for illegally evicting low-income tenants from foreclosed properties, Deutsche Bank denied responsibility and blamed the loan servicer. Yes, yes, the loan servicer is the bank's agent, but pigs can fly, can't they?

Peasant Stew: The Irish national pension fund has been forced to sell some of its assets to help the government cover the costs of bailing out Irish banks.

Unskilled Labor: Afraid that illegal aliens are taking all the unskilled jobs – gardeners, roofers, prom dates... Alabama State GOP Senator Scott Beason's recently passed bill prohibits "participation in any extracurricular activity outside of the basic course of study" for K-12 students who aren't legal residents. Beason calls it "jobs bill." – Rent a date?

Fair Warning: Headlines tell me that the royal couple will visit California soon. Why should I care – we're not going to execute them too, are we?.

Porn O'Graph: Recovery, in sight.