SAR #11306

Where's Rod Serling when you need him?

Multiple Choices: The Greek referendum is 1) on, 2) off, 3) on again, 4) really, really off, 5) immaterial – either the Greeks accept austerity voluntarily or it will be shoved down their throats by the Germans.

More For Less:Corporate America continued its drive to make the worker superfluous, with a 3.1% quarterly increase in productivity and a 2.4% decrease in labor costs. It's a good thing that customers don't need jobs.

Sign Up Now! It's time for another war. Be the first on your block to support war with Iran. Israel's ready. The Tommies are ready. Aren't you ready to use nuclear weapons to free the world from nuclear weapons? How about computer worms to prevent evil computing? Back the attack! Call now, recruiters are waiting. Note: NATO has "no intention whatsoever" of intervening in Iran until it gets paid for its work in Libya.

As Stated: Thirty Of America's Most Profitable Companies Paid 'Less Than Zero' In Income Taxes In Last 3 Years:

Propaganda: Homeland Security, in cooperation the big motel/hotel chains, is making a special offer available to the first 1.2 million travelers who rat out random strangers. All you have to do is watch a short propaganda film in the privacy of your hotel room and then see if you can't find someone to frame for a visit by the men in black. Watching the film is not mandatory. Yet.

History Lesson: In 2010, Germany paid the last installment of the reparations required under the 1919 Treaty of Versailles. Revenge loses its edge after a while.

Job Well Done: In 2 short years the outfit run by Ed Haldeman – Freddie Mac - needed over $20 billion in taxpayer bailouts. That's why he gets to walk away with $4 million in pocket change as he leaves.

Fever Breaks! The Labor Department announced that last week's number of initial unemployment claims was under 400,000 for the first time in living memory, at 397,000. Revision pending, of course. Just shy of 32% of unemployed Americans have been out of work for over a year. Bernanke says things will get better later on, with 2013 starting with an 8.5% rate that will taper off to only 7.8% by the end of the year.

Drug Dealing: On the street, illegally selling prescription drugs is a felony, good for a long stretch in prision. But if you're GlaxoSmithKline and you've sold millions and millions of drugs “for unapproved uses” you can just pay $3 billion from petty cash to 'resolve' the matter and get back at it.

What's the Point: Everybody says they have no meaningful net exposure to European sovereign debt – or to CDS in general. So what is the point of buying and selling them, other than to generate fees? Would a bank lie about something like this?

Travel Advice: If the NYPD stops you and you don't have your internal passport, identification papers, or driver's license on you, better have a toothbrush. Because you will be handcuffed, bounced from jail to jail around the city, given a couple of nights lodging and eventually get your case dropped in less than a minute of court time. Just protecting and serving. Poughkeepsie's nice this time of year.

Bluntly Speaking: GOP presidential wannable Gary Johnson, former NM governor, promises to pardon all federal marijuana prisoners. What's this guy been smoking?