Birth Pains: The first act of the government of the Peoples’ Republic of Donetsk after it declared its independence from Ukraine was to ask Russia to take over the new republic. The government of Ukraine, in an effort to solidify its postion with the citizenry, announced cuts to health and welfare spending and increases in spending on guns and ammo.
Details: The head of the SEC's audit unit told a private equity conference that more than half the private equity firms (whose heads he was talking to) “have engaged in serious infractions of securities laws.” He then detailed a long list of shady practices that the SEC was aware of (under the polite pretense that his audience wasn't fully aware of these crimes) and suggested that the SEC would not prosecute them because “we believe that most people in the industry are trying to do the right thing, to help their clients
Wages Of Sin: Ehud Olmert, former Prime Minister of Israel, has been sentenced to six years in jail for accepting bribes when he was mayor of Jerusalem. Dick Cheney and George Bush remain at large.
Protecting And Serving: Twenty-three Florida police officers fired at least 377 shots in two separate volleys about two minutes apart at a pair of unarmed men. The men were trapped inside a crashed vehicle. A few of the shots found their targets, killing both men. One of the dead had robbed a Walgreens earlier and had shot a police officer while making his getaway. The other man was an innocent bystander along for the ride.
Stimulating: Kentucky says its continuing ban on gay marriage is part of its long term economic stimulus program because “procreation is good for the economy.”
Long Time Coming: Wikileaks has released a cable from the Russian Foreign Minister warning Washington that the US-EU-NATO interference in Ukraine's internal affairs could split the country in two. The cable was dated in 2008. Planning.
It's Loanly Out There: Federal student loans increased 12% in the last year, by $125 billion, to $1.11 trillion. Little suggests that students are 12% smarter.
No Decency: “Burisma Holdings, Ukraine’s largest private gas producer, has expanded its Board of Directors by bringing on Mr. R Hunter Biden as a new director." Mr. Biden is VP Joe Biden's son.
The Parting Shot: