Thursday, February 26, 2009

SAR #9057

The banks are dead. Our children are not. Save the children.


Silly Boy: As proof that Obama's stimulus plan will not work, Republican Govenor Bobby Jindal was doubtful, saying "Those of us who lived through the way the Republican Bush Administration failed the people before and after Hurricane Katrina, we have our doubts."

Endangered Species: AIG needs another $60 billion this quarter and can't find anyone willing to buy its assets and it cannot repay any of the "loan" the government gave it earlier, so (a) the government will give it more money or (b) the government will give it more money.

Tense: Existing housing sales sucked, suck, and will suck. Carry on.

Great Expectations: According to the Corps of Engineers, over 100 levees in 16 states are so poorly maintained that it is "reasonable to expect" they will fail in the face of a major flood. Heck of a job.

Bigger Isn't Better: A massive 2 year study of both poles has revealed that the icecaps at both poles are melting faster than expected, and the Antarctic warming is "more widespread than was thought." Early indications of a change in ocean circulation were detected, which is expected to have " a dramatic impact on the global climate system." While Greenland's rate of ice loss is accelerating, large areas of permafrost are also melting and releasing larger quantities of carbon than anticipated.

Dead Heads: Poorly producing dairy cattle have always been culled and sent to the slaughter house. Milk prices have dropped so low that producing milk doesn't pay for the feed it takes to keep the cows, so they are being sent to the slaughter house in record numbers. Your next hamburger may be cheaper, but the milkshake will be getting pricier.

Proof: Having demonstrated conclusively that they cannot make the government work, Republicans have concluded that it cannot be done and refuse to consider any other explanation.

Eisenhowered: President Obama has put the Defense Department and the military-industrial complex on the defensive, breaking more than thirty years of silence to point out that billions, if not trillions of dollars have been wasted on good ole boy contracts for unneeded weaponry. And unneeded wars.

Dead Parrot: When sharks stop swimming, they drown. When banks stop lending, they stop earning money. But I repeat myself.

I'm With Him: Paul Krugman, who is no slouch at arcane economic stuff, admits he doesn't understand what Geithner's plans are for the banks, nor quite why any of them might work. He doesn't get it. I don't either, but I'm afraid we're all going to get it - in the pocketbook. Iceberg? What Iceberg?

Game Plan: First, a global economic meltdown resulting in falling wages, growing unemployment, bankruptcies, anger. Then, increased ethnic tensions, demonstrations, civic strife and riots. Next, border clashes and struggles for resources. Endgame, war?

Replay: About 4,000 years ago our ancestors cut down the forests of the Fertile Crescent and turned the whole region into a desert. It worked so well that Indonesia is trying to repeat the feat with the world's third largest rain forest before the Brazilians can with the Amazon.

Sit! Stay! Roll Over! The Republican National Committee now require total obedience to the party line. One unauthorized vote by those silly enough think for themselves will result in the GOP finding and funding primary opponents to challenge them. Play Dead!


Windjammer said...

Hey Michaelson,
Didn't realize you were such a commiecrat. Tired of the republican bashing from you dolts, you and your ilk are going to sink us into oblivion.

Anonymous said...

"Eisenhoward" Waste billions on defense or trillions on saving banks, deadbeat homeowners, and teachers unions that fail our kids. What's the difference. Waste is waste.


Anonymous said...

"Eisenhoward" Waste billions on defense or trillions on saving banks, deadbeat homeowners, and teachers unions that fail our kids. What's the difference. Waste is waste.


CKMichaelson said...

RBM - I have to agree, waste is waste. Except in our system waste isn't waste, waste is what the economy is built on and is essential to the perpetual growth required by the culture and the economy. Truly, we're wasting away. Yet in that I've benefited quite nicely from the waste-based monster, I'm ambivalent at best.
Is one type of waste better than another? Maybe. Some forms certainly keep the unnecessary members of society relatively quiescent and that's a good thing.

TulsaTime said...

So 'funny' that it is waste now, but was no such thing in years past when the thuglicans were directing it. Case in point, that helicopter deal. But as you point out, the important thing is to stay on message, and to sit/stand/clap when you are told to.