The banks are dead. Our children are not. Save the children.
Silly Boy: As proof that Obama's stimulus plan will not work, Republican Govenor Bobby Jindal was doubtful, saying "Those of us who lived through t
he way the Republican Bush Administration failed the people before and after Hurricane Katrina, we have our doubts."
Endangered Species: AIG needs another $60 billion this quarter and can't find anyone willing to buy its assets and it cannot repay any of the "loan" the government gave it earlier, so (a) the government will give it more money or (b) the government will give it more money.
Tense: Existing housing sales sucked, suck, and will suck. Carry on.
Great Expectations: According to the Corps of Engineers, over 100 levees in 16 states are so poorly maintained that it is "reasonable to expect" they will fail in the face of a major flood. Heck of a job.
Bigger Isn't Better: A massive 2 year study of both poles has revealed that the icecaps at both poles are melting faster than expected, and the Antarctic warming is "more widespread than was thought." Early indications of a change in ocean circulation were detected, which is expected to have " a dramatic impact on the global climate system." While Greenland's rate of ice loss is accelerating, large areas of permafrost are also melting and releasing larger quantities of carbon than anticipated.
Dead Heads: Poorly producing dairy cattle have always been culled and sent to the slaughter house. Milk prices have dropped so low that producing milk doesn't pay for the feed it takes to keep the cows, so they are being sent to the slaughter house in record numbers. Your next hamburger may be cheaper, but the milkshake will be getting pricier.
Proof: Having demonstrated conclusively that they cannot make the government work, Republicans have concluded that it cannot be done and refuse to consider any other explanation.
Eisenhowered: President Obama has put the Defense Department and the military-industrial complex on the defensive, breaking more than thirty years of silence to point out that billions, if not trillions of dollars have been wasted on good ole boy contracts for unneeded weaponry. And unneeded wars.
Dead Parrot: When sharks stop swimming, they drown. When banks stop lending, they stop earning money. But I repeat myself.
I'm With Him: Paul Krugman, who is no slouch at arcane economic stuff, admits he doesn't understand what Geithner's plans are for the banks, nor quite why any of them might work. He doesn't get it. I don't either, but I'm afraid we're all going to get it - in the pocketbook. Iceberg? What Iceberg?
Game Plan: First, a global economic meltdown resulting in falling wages, growing unemployment, bankruptcies, anger. Then, increased ethnic tensions, demonstrations, civic strife and riots. Next, border clashes and struggles for resources. Endgame, war?
Replay: About 4,000 years ago our ancestors cut down the forests of the Fertile Crescent and turned the whole region into a desert. It worked so well that Indonesia is trying to repeat the feat with the world's third largest rain forest before the Brazilians can with the Amazon.
Sit! Stay! Roll Over! The Republican National Committee now require total obedience to the party line. One unauthorized vote by those silly enough think for themselves will result in the GOP finding and funding primary opponents to challenge them. Play Dead!