SAR #11115

The future? I can't feel that far.

Cookie, Crumbling: The US is proud to have negotiated a deal for Yemeni President (and long term US ally) to quietly slink away to safety dragging his bundle of spoils along. Too bad no one thought to ask the Yemeni citizenry. They say no immunity and no running off with the loot, and most certainly a trial and punishment. The Yemenis are uppity and ungrateful, after all our support for democracy aren't they?

Just Because: Apple is not only actively tracking your precise GPS location data, information about nearby cell towers, and neighboring Wi-Fi networks. They store the data and restore the database across backups and migrate it to new devices... including iPads, Macs and Windows machines running Safari 5. Why? Mostly to sell it, of course; this is America.

Sleeper Cells: Surviving 9/11 first responders will have to pass screening against a terrorism watch list before they can get compensation for their injuries. Wouldn't want any unAmerican firefighters, EMS and police taking advantage of our generosity just because they risked their lives for us.

Next Up: Moroccans staged peaceful pro-democracy protests. The list reads: Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Yemen, Bahrain, Syria, Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Iraq has been at it so long it is not eligible for this competition and Sudan's oil belongs to the Chinese.

Steal Magnolias: Citi says that in order for Greece to get its Debt/GDP ratio down to 60%, the country must take a 76% haircut now, or a 94% cut by 2015. Did you miss the reports on the last weeks rioting?

Here's My Plan... Taliban insurgents dug a 1,000-foot tunnel to spring over 450 Taliban fighters from the main Kandahar city jail. We're making progress; the last time they got more than 900 of their guys out.

Payback: The US government's investment in AIG has lost $18 billion in value in the last four months and another $11 billion has drained out of 'our' share of General Motors. We should have stuck with the gold.

In Sincerely: If the fiscal sky is falling, falling, falling so quickly that we have to put the old folks on bread and water – shouldn't we give some thought to raising taxes? Does it make sense to claim we are in a massive debt crisis and suggest the solution is to cut taxes to pre-1931 levels and increasing the national debt by $6 billion while deliberately kicking the poor, the old and the needy to the curb?

Understandable Mistake: What was originally thought to be a column of refugees from the ruined reactors at Fukushima turned out to be a massive protest demanding the end of nuclear power in Japan.

Hand Me Down Those Hand-me-downs: Michigan Republican State Senator Bruce Casswell proposes that children in foster care be forced to buy their clothes from places like the Sally, Goodwill and other used clothing outlets. He says it will help the state's budget and improve the children at the same time. His father forced him to wear hand-me-downs and see how he turned out: Embittered, mean-spirited, vengeful...

Unintended Consequences: A dramatic rise in WI teacher retirements has been linked to collective bargaining changes. Apparently their union contracts prevent involuntary servitude.

To Catch a Thief: In order to make sure Monsanto and friends get favorable environmental impact statements, the USDA is going to let them either do the studies themselves, or pay to have them done. This will “help move crops through the process more quickly” and without all those negative comments.

Houses of Cards: The IMF commodity price index rose 32 per cent between June 2010 and February 2011. Plan accordingly.