Why did we ever think Musical Chairs was a game?
Run Away, Run Away: March 15, 2009: "... every investor can have absolute confidence in the soundness of investments in the United States" President Barack Obama; and Bernanke said the recession would be over this year. Cut it out, pin it to the wall over your desk. Pray.
Groundhog Day: Is it a dead cat bounce or the real thing? The S&P 500 is up around 10%, so we've hit bottom, right? Some think we're on our way back to DOW 14,000! On the other hand, maybe it's really a dead cat, bouncing. Roubini thinks it's another sucker's rally.
Tomato, Tahmato: Climate scientists have issued gloomier and gloomier predictions; economists say that economic growth will save the day. Of course they also think that pouring money down a hole makes petroleum appear.
Three Bears: Larry Summers says the problem is the Greed has been either too hot or too cold and what we really need is Greed that's just right.
Headline Only: Anesthesiologist Faked Data in 21 Studies to Help Sell Billions of Dollars Worth of Potentially Dangerous Drugs
Details: The G20 members agree the world needs to do more to turn the economy around. They just don't agree on what to do. The Europeans want more financial regulations, the US wants more stimulus and the Chinese want to get paid back.
Modern Dance: Creationists visiting the Smithsonian are upset that it's all science, science, science. I felt the same way at the Twyla Tharp concert, where's the ballet?
Competition: The IMF is going to print tens, if not hundreds, of billions of a new global "super-currency" in an effort to
drown the whole world in useless paper address the economic crisis. Careful, the Central Banks don't like competition.
Traffic Report: In February, inbound traffic at the Port of Los Angeles was down 35% YoY. At the container terminal in St. Petersburg, Russia, inbound traffic was down 27%.
Best of a Bad Lot: AIG, having managed to keep its theft from the taxpayers down to only $170 billion, is giving something over $100 million in bonuses so it can keep "the best and brightest talent."
Silver Lining: Over the last 30 years increasing airborne pollution has caused illness and death to millions while causing enough dimming to slow global warming.
Click Your Heels: Bankers say that if they don't have to label their bad assets as bad assets then everything will be hunky dory and people will trust them and there'll be a chicken in every pot.
Lights, Camera, Arrest 'Em: Police in East Haven, CT, arrested a Catholic priest for videotaping them using "unknown shiny silver object" they feared might be a camera.
Opinions Vary: The headline advocates: "Blame the Economists, Not Economics." I'd go with blame the bankers, not the banks.
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet: The CEO of FICO (you know, your credit score - that FICO) says " We easily have another 12 to 18 months of pretty ugly times in terms of mortgage resetting. ... Credit cards are next."
One from Column A and One from Column B: The US Nuclear Regulatory Commission says the global economic/credit crisis will slow the expansion of nuclear power. Energy Secretary Steven Chu says that "Nuclear is going to be part of our energy future."
Age Wave: Economies with high median ages - Japan, Italy, and Germany - have a built-in bias against expanding consumption, are resistant to credit-based bubbles, and put increasing demands on social programs just as available taxation to support them begins to fall. Ponzi schemes end poorly.
Where's The Beef: After unveiling one plan after another to inject liquidity into the system, credit markets are still frozen. So, why doesn't the economy smarten up?
Scene, Not Herd: US Army troops patrol Samson, Alabama after a man went on a killing spree ending with his own death. The soldiers are... doing what, exactly? And by what authority?