This is not a recession, recessions end.
Code talker: The ECB's Draghi, seeking to clarify his “whatever it takes” comment now says that “over the coming weeks, we will design the appropriate modalities for such policy measures.” Which led to the worst day in a decade for European markets. Miracles have a remarkably short shelf life.
Different Rules: So Knight Capital screwed up and blamed it on “an algorithm” and all the other robots watching the tape jumped in screaming 'me too!' and billions got thrown around and so everyone but Knight gets to pretend it didn't happen. Want to explain this to me in a way I'd understand – without making me ROFLMAO.
Obligatory Numbers: The Department of Labor guesses that about 8,000 more folks lost their jobs this week than last, 365,000 vs 357,000. The BLS says 163,000 jobs were added in July, which beat expectations, yet the unemployment rate increased a smidgen to 8.3%. So?
Demonstrator, Ho! Scientists have consistently said that some of the CO2 we've dumped into the atmosphere would be absorbed by the oceans, turning them more acidic, which in turn would seriously impair the ability of shellfish to form their shells. To understand what that means, ask oyster farmers in the Northwest why they have to ship their oyster larvae to Hawaii for their initial growth. The current problem is the result of coal and petroleum we burned decades ago, and it is only going to grow – even if the oysters don't.
Plain Talk: "For most healthy people, data show that statins do not prevent heart disease, nor extend life or improve quality of life, and they come with considerable side effects." The FDA agrees to some degree.
Sold, Somewhat: For quite some time we've known that US auto makers “stuff” cars on their dealers and pretend they've been sold. China does it too. Now GM has been faking numbers in Europe the same way – enough to erase all new car sales in Spain this year. Thirty percent of vehicles claimed as sold by GM are ‘self registered’ – sold to dealers, not to end-use customers.
Hyperbole: Governor Tom Kasich's (R-OH) claim that a single energy company could recover $1 trillion worth of oil and gas from the state’s shale probably says more about Kasich's expectations for hyperinflation than about the quantity of the resources.
Clock Watching: Every hour of every day, the five biggest oil companies made $14,400,000 in profits, with the help of $270,000 in federal tax breaks. Them that has, gets.
Deep In The Heart: The Republican candidate for US Senate from Texas, Ted Cruz, believes that a state – or at least Texas – can simply nullify laws passed by the US Congress if it doesn't like them. Ah, a replacement for Palin and Bachmann in Jon Stewart's monologues.
Annoying the Neighbors: Turkish Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoglu dropped into Kirkuk to chat with the Kurds – much to the displeasure of the Iraqi's in Baghdad who think the Kurds and Kirkuk are theirs.
Carry Permit: During the Republican gathering in Tampa, make sure that you leave your puppet at home when you strap on your Glock. Apparently there will be enough Republican puppets there that no help is needed from the citizenry.
Porn O'Graph: How dry you are.
The Parting Shot:
Elephatopus tormentosus – The Devil's Grandmother.