SAR #13095

Many supposed experts believe they actually are.

A Number On Numbers: Initial unemployment claims rose 32,000 last week, to 385,000. This represents either a return to reality from recent lower figures, the onset of an unemployment spike caused by the sequestration, the effect of the long Easter weekend, the warm weather, the cold weather, Cyprus, or an artifact caused because “some colleges lay off staff during spring break” - in which case, colleges employ a lot more people than seems necessary.

Quietly:In the spirit of public service, Exxon, noting that the sequester was causing FAA to reduce its operations, has taken over control of the airspace over the the Maflower, AR non-oil spill “until further notice”. Only aircraft under the direction and control of ExxonMobil are permitted to overfly the area.

Confetti: The Bank of Japan, stealing the lead in money-printing from Ben & the Fed, is going to print up an extra $1.4 trillion in the next two years through open-ended asset buying, more than doubling Japan's money supply. In that Japan's economy is about one-third the size of the US economy, this sets the record for quantitative easing. What could go wrong?

None Of The Above: Asked what plans the ECB had to protect European financial markets in the event an EZ member leaves the euro, ECB President Mario Draghi said such questions “are formulated by people who vastly underestimate" the importance of the euro to the current ruling regime in Europe. By which he means, “Ain't gonna happen, so why bother to plan for it?”

Page Two: Egypt’s navy has seized a ship loaded with weapons and ammunition that had sailed from Eilat, Israel en route to Togo. The boat, crew and cargo will be held until authorities can determine if this was a legitimate shipment, or gun running. The crew had NRA membership cards and claimed the weapons were for self defense under the 2^nd Amendment.

Rehabability: The Justice Department is conspiring to let former Enron CEO Jeff Skilling out of jail after serving six years of a 24-year sentence, arguing that it is in the interests of the rich not to let one of their own languish in jail no matter what financial crimes have been committed.

It's A Raid! Let's see, corporate pensions have pretty much disappeared, 401(k)s keep getting gutted by Wall Street, and housing equity is pretty much lost in the mist, so all most Americans have is Social Security, which Obama wants to cripple and the Republicans want to turn over to Wall Street – even though Social Security does not contribute to the deficit nor to the national debt. Instead of whacking at it like it was a giant piñata, we should be expanding it. Not gonna happen, but it should.

Pinpointedly: A NATO air strike killed four Afghan police and two civilians on Thursday, less than a week after a helicopter attack killed 8 civilians (including 2 children) who apparently looked like Taliban.

Disingenuous: Indiana State Rep Sharon Negele, who initiated a new law that requires any clinic administering the RU-486 'abortion' pills have a full surgical suite on premiss, says that her intent was “ to safeguard our young women.” That the requirement is economically beyond the reach of the state's abortion clinics and will force them out of business is simply a bonus.

Deprived-itized: “I'll gladly pay you Tuesday...” The privatized school cafeteria at the Attleboro, MA Coelho Middle School forced about 25 students to throw their lunches away because they could not pay for the food with cash and did not have any funds left in their pre-paid accounts.

Opinions Vary: Fox's Sean Hannity defended the Rutgers coach who hit, kicked, threw his players to the floor and bounced basketballs off their heads, by saying ‘My father hit me with a belt, I turned out okay!’ Hitting a child , even the younger Hannity, with a belt – or anything else - is child abuse.

Gone Away: Scientists have found that Pelusios seychellensis, a freshwater turtle species from the Seychelles, is not extinct. Like compassionate conservatives, it never existed.

Porn O'Graph: In Recovery.

 

Dentaria laciniata, Cutleaf Toothwart