Europe, Nutshelled: German Unemployment Falls to Record Low on Strengthening Economic Recovery vs. Italian Jobless Rate Rises to Record Amid Growth Outlook Concerns
Crapification: United has replaced 650 baggage handlers at its Denver terminal with minimum wage “contractors.” Naturally, baggage now has even less of a chance of getting where its supposed to. But you still get to pay for the privilege of losing it.
Barter System: An attorney bartered a no-contest plea to misdemeanor marijuana possession and distributing obscene materials in return for a probated sentence and having no felony charges relating to his offer let a client pay his fee by letting the lawyer have sex with the client's 13-year-old daughter.
Edited Version: There are still 28 pages of the congressional 9/11 investigation report that are being kept secret because the government claims it would imperil national security if the American public learned that their suspicions were right; that not only had 15 of the 19 hijackers come from Saudi Arabia, so had their funding. As has much the funding for al-Qaeda and ISIS.
Perks: After a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer took a drunk woman to jail, he went home and changed his clothes then went back to the station, took her out of jail and drover to his house “to pursue a personal relationship.” He was docked 7 days pay and put back on his horse.
Really, Seriously, For Sure: Texas claims that the 80% reduction in abortion clinics that its new anti-abortion laws caused does not actually infringe on a woman's right to drive 550 miles for an abortion or to abort with the help of a friend or a coat hangar.
Sucking Up: Israel's ambassador to Azerbaijan has emphasized that Israel will not “recognize” the Turks slaughter of Armenians a century ago any more than it will admit its own genocidal wars against Palestinians.
Ulterior Motive: The head of MI5 claims that recent disclosures have hampered British intelligence's ability to snoop on everyone and is asking for “new powers” to “fight extremism.” And resume watching everyone, all the time. For their own safety.
Noted: “There are no great religions — they’re all stupid and dangerous.” Bill Maher
Porn O'Graph: As good as it gets.