SAR #15031

The world is a messy place.

 
Qualifying Qualification: Obama's choice for attorney general to replace Eric Holder claims that alcohol is safer than marijuana, which proves her credentials as both a lawyer and a political hack – being able to lie convincingly in the face of evidence to the contrary and to tell an audience what it wants to hear. Never mind it isn't true, this is Washington. 
 
Best Headline: “NFL officials will hold Brady's balls before Super Bowl”.

Dry Wholes: In the last 5 years investors have put $1.4 trillion into bets on the US oil and gas industry, chasing the riches promised by $100 a barrel oil. Now investment funds, retirement accounts and bank balance sheets are beginning to show the dents that $45 oil has made in these bets – about $440 billion so far. Some bonds are now trading at 50 cents on the dollar and some stocks have lost nearly 90% from their highs. But this shouldn't bother you unless you own a bank or were planning on retiring one day. 
 
One Size Fits All: The NYPD is dedicating 350 cops to a new machine gun and riot gear equipped unit focused on 'containing terrorist attacks and protests.'
 
Data Dance: Canadian research suggests that Pfizer's quit-smoking drug Chantiax/Champix is implicated in the deaths of 44 patients, 30 by suicide, and is linked to more than 1,300 other suicide attempts, serious depression and anger/aggression. Pfizer says that no reliable scientific evidence proves the drug responsible for the deaths, which has a familiar ring to it.

The Doctor Won't See You Now: Doctors are beginning to tell patients with anti-vaccine beliefs that they should find a different health care provider. 
 
Negotiations; Patricia Todd, a gay Alabama lawmaker, is threatening to expose adulterous colleagues: "I will not stand by and allow legislators to talk about 'family values' when they have affairs, and I know of many who are and have."