SAR #14214

Let's not confuse Israelis with Jews.

Fox/Henhouse: The Agriculture Department has decided that operators of poultry processing plants will be tasked with “conducting their own inspections for bird defects and feces on the processing lines and allow government inspectors to concentrate on other food-safety issues in the plant.” If crap in the product isn't a “food-safety issue”, what is?

Hang In There: Financial mavens say that it is “too early to worry” about a correction in the stock market, despite the sharp selloff. You haven't lost enough money yet and they want to unload their bad guesses first.

George and Dick's Excellent Adventure: Three out of four Americans think that history will judge the US invasions of and elective wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as failures. Like the rest of our triumphs since the 1950's.

Pharmacology 101: If the people in West Africa could pay $1,000 a shot for a vaccination to prevent Ebola, don't you suspect there would be one? 
 
Let Us Parse: Paul 'The Serious One' Ryan claims that climate change happens “no matter what” and that the EPA regulations aimed at lowering CO2 emissions and putting off Armageddon by at least a few weeks are 'outside of the confines of the law', and 'an excuse to grow government, raise taxes and slow down economic growth'. Others say we cannot wait and that the cost of delaying action to stem climate change will skyrocket the longer we delay doing what is necessary. And scientists who work with methane venting in the Arctic say that "vast methane plumes [are] escaping from the seafloor," and that “If even a small fraction of Arctic sea floor carbon is released to the atmosphere, we're fucked.” [That's apparently a scientific term.]

Extraterritoriality: Britain is trying to censor the US Senate report on torture. Maybe they should try rendition... 
 
Your Goose, Our Gander: The US, which claims the right to listen to everybody's conversations, is upset that Israeli intelligence listened in on Secretary Kerry while he was trying to patch together a peace deal.

Dilemma: Google wants credit for tipping off the cops to child abuse that it identified while snooping through images attached to gmail messages. Two wrongs, one right.
 
They Made Me Do It: The fertilizer companies responsible for the explosion and fire in West, TX last year claim that the city, not the fertilizer companies, were to blame, which is a load of fertilizer.

Obey: NYC cops dragged a naked 48 year-old woman from her shower, through her apartment and into the hallway, subdued and arrested her - and her 12-year old granddaughter who tried to help gramma – for resisting . Wrong apartment. 
 
Misinformed: President Obama denied that his trip to meet African leaders was an attempt to counter China's presence on the continent. He said he had come for the waters.

Cookie Monsters: In Palm Beach a church had a homeless man arrested for stealing $2.25 worth of cookies. In Decatur, IL a man discovered that his female roommate had eaten the three cookies he had intended to have for breakfast, so he strangled her.

Porn O'Graph: Green with envy algae.